So I really don't go to church much. Mostly cause I have a job that feeds us that requires me to work many Sundays. And sometimes I go races on Sundays and some days I just go running instead. Hence a certain disconnect with the church as a community. I do try. I read the bulletin online, make an effort to chat when I am there but well. You know when you are the odd person out. One way to connect is to be involved. And again I try. We were involved in a small group that folded. I had hopes for the kitchen ministry team. Been called once, couldn't make it. Honestly, I am loud, and have way to many opinions. Sometimes people don't want me there. To be honest I hate kids ministry so I don't do that even though people have looked down on me. I do like drama and as I wasn't working Christmas this year I wanted to be involved with whatever the church was doing for Christmas. So I read the bulletin in hopes of reading a call for volunteers for those who wanted to be involved in the Christmas production.
Long story short, there was no call. Luke mentioned to somebody I wanted to be involved and thus I played a role in the walk through Bethlehem. Mainly, I was cast for my personalty. I was glad to be involved but what about everybody else?
What about the newcomer who has no connection? Are they stuck being always an observer because they are shy? Because nothing was in the bulletin.
I have made another observation. As Luke is on ministry counsel I do hear him say that there is a lack of people being involved and it is hard to get volunteers for things. The people I saw also at the drama were the usual crew. What I am thinking is it is the same people are always being asked to do things and then those people are the people who are getting burnt out and then quiting but there is not another crew of people coming up.
I thought being part of a community is sharing the jobs that have to be done. Making connections. I know i don't fit in. I don't know how to fix it. Really I am just about at the point where I don't want to try anymore. Maybe the church is too big, maybe I am to be someplace else. A friend told me of her grandparents who through out their lives attended different churches, doesn't sound pleasant but where I am at isn't pleasant either.
I think more communication equals more belonging, and thus community which most everybody wants, and other than that I don't know.
The thing is I feel I am getting community, I have a great crew of running friends whom I have shared many good/bad times. But I do feel a void, lack of spiritual connection with those who share the same Christian values i have.
A little heavy for non emotional me. Well aware.
Thoughts, perhaps from a person south of me?
Oh the picture is Christmas related. Our tree from the sketchy tree farm out of town. A handy long term investment if you got a bit of land I think. The bike was Maya's Christmas from Kijiji.
5 comments:
It was so fun seeing you as King Herod - you definitely owned that role! Thanks for helping! I felt your same disappointment over the congregational involvement...in a church that size it shouldn't be so hard to find volunteers. Not sure how to fix it - we've got a load of lazy people who just want to be spoon fed. It's infuriating!
Why not start a running small group? And no, I'm not being cheeky. I'm deadly serious here. You do a run, then you have a discussion about whatever...
We have issues at our church too from time to time with volunteers. Everyone wants the sexy stuff like parking patrol or singing in the band. We've got a core of about 5 of us that do the tech stuff and I've been doing that for nigh on 10 years now.
maybe if you got matching socks
From Someone south of you.
If I was your minister, I would want to know about your feelings/concerns so I could counsel you personally and get feedback on the culture that is being created by the members. Maybe they need more teaching and encouragement to be a more welcoming community to members and shyer folks. There are many things that a church can do to create community and promote volunteerism and improve communications. It doesn't really help to talk about it outside of your community. Your community needs to hear from you directly about your feelings. Maybe you are the one being called to give valuable feedback or even initiate some of these things, as you know what it feels like to be "on the outside", or to give suggestions on how you might think these things can be remedied for you and others. The question about leaving your church doesn't really make sense if Luke and your kids like everything and you agree with their teachings and beliefs and like the ministerial staff and worship services. Obviously Luke does or he wouldn't be on the Board. The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. Or after some discernment and church shopping, you may find another community that fits your needs???
I often find it hard to be part of a community and feel that sense of belonging. I am not a Christian, so church is not an option. I've lived in this area for 11 years now and am only just starting to feel part of something & that's the triathlon club. I have no words of wisdom to offer other than to seek out people you fit with. If you don't feel that you fit, you probably don't and forcing it won't help things. Good luck:)
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