Wanted: Olympic Wrestler

Olympic Quality wrestler is needed for diapering and clothing duties of one (1) 12-month old child. Those with having medals and/or talents in one-armed submissions (the other will be used to diaper or cloth the child) will be considered first.
The child is extremely talented in twisting and squirmed out of most holds and positions. Extreme care must be taken in avoiding bruising, suffocation and broken limbs. Only those considered for interviews will be contacted, thank you for you time.
The following is a picture of the child in an aggressive stance.